


We loved with love that was more than love

by becchan



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Many many characters will appear, Nerd-ish Matthew, So not purely romance, Troublemaker Gilbert, but of course mostly, from strangers to friends to lovers, i just wanted to write a story where the self value doesnt depend on someone else, self discovery, tw swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:05:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4707017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becchan/pseuds/becchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story of a shy boy who meets the very opposite of a shy boy</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The boy with hair whiter than... uh, white.

**Author's Note:**

> A teensy warning; English isn't my native language and if I make mistakes like using an inappropriate phrase for the context I would honestly appreciate pointing it out! Thanks!
> 
> Title is a quote from Edgar Allan Poe

To be happy, one needs love.

That had always been the mantra of Matthew, who in fact was not as happy as he imagined someone who truly is happy would be happy. Yes, he had a brother who loved him and he had a few friends who also loved him. Like Lars. He was a friend, but he was a friend. It wasn’t the kind of love you need when you feel sad or just fucked up, but because Matthew believed you had to love a person in some level to be friends with them, Lars loved him. As a friend. But Matthew did not have The Love. Love that would be greater than life itself, that would make him feel like throwing up but still better than ever. Love that happened only once in a lifetime. Then again, he was 17.

“To be happy, I need love”, he mouthed but did not say out loud. The frozen leaves made crunching noises when he stepped on them. Matthew was walking the now quiet road downhill. This road would eventually lead to a factory where coffee was made, but if you took a turn to the left when you saw an ugly big rock you would end up at a high school. And that was where Matthew should be right now if it weren’t for the dentist he had visited. The air he breathed out turned into a white cloud and he felt how the tip of his nose was probably frozen solid. He should take a scarf with him tomorrow. When Matthew saw the big and ugly rock, he turned left. 

The school Matthew attended had up to 500 students in it. That meant he often shared the class with many familiar faces, but there still always seemed to be a new one. Some teachers remembered who he was, most of them didn’t. Same with his fellow pupils. Few of them greeted him when they saw him, most of them didn’t even look at him. But it was fine, he had never been one to have a need for active social life. He liked it better if he had a few people he could be comfortable with and he had always enjoyed spending time alone. Maybe it was because he was so used to it. Maybe he just didn’t know how much better things could be. Well, it really didn’t matter, did it now, when he either way couldn’t really do anything about it. Not with the already formed cliques and stuff. Just, you know, normal typical teenager stuff. Go on, parents, laugh your hearts out and roll your eyes, “there are people with real problems, you know”.

When he saw the building, white walls and an asphalt ground all around it, he slowed down a little and started walking reeaalllyyy slooowwwllyyyyy. He didn’t dislike school, it was just a really boring place where nothing ever happened. 

The bell rang in the cold and sharp way bells in schools ring. Everyone started hurriedly packing their stuff away and there was a lot of chairs being pushed aside and everyone started speaking. Or at least it felt like everyone started speaking.  
“The class doesn’t end till I say so!” the poor teacher tried to argue but there was mass of teens already on the door and soon out. Matthew was one of the last people to leave the room and heard the teacher sigh in an exhausted way while shaking her head. The hallways were loud as usual: lot of laugher, the sound of a crowd cheering when someone got burned, someone shouting something to someone else. If it had been a normal Thursday afternoon, Matthew would have walked straight to the door and then proceeded to go home, or in some case maybe to the library, maybe to Lars’s place to play video games, maybe to the comic book store with Al.. But as you may have guessed, this was not a regular Thursday. 

“You- you bitch!” he heard someone shout right behind him. Good thing he didn’t hit the ceiling.  
“Hey, you, hold this”  
Suddenly someone had given him something. Something that was very much alive and happened to be very much a white kitten. Matthew stared at it then looked confusedly up and saw to even more to his surprise, an albino having a fist fight with the girl everyone was scared of. There was a loud pang and everyone cheered. The boy with hair whiter than.. uh, white was lying on the ground and the girl was standing above him grinning like mad.  
“You go Liz”  
“Oh my God, did you see that?! Did you fucking see that?”  
“Shit, Gil, did you even try?”

Then. A shout that made everyone quickly disappear and go back to doing whatever they were doing; “Just what in the name of everything that is holy is going on in my hallway?”  
The albino, who was now rubbing his head and swearing under his breath, stood up with the help of the wall. The headmaster of the school was soon standing in front of him with a stern look on his face.  
“Not again, Beilschmit”, he said, putting stress on the ‘again’, then in- and exhaled slowly and turned around walking away with long steps and signing with his hand for the boy to follow. The boy then dragged his feet right behind him and they disappeared behind the corner in the direction of the head masters office. After a few more minutes the hallway was practically empty, expect for one confused teenage boy with a kitten in his hands. Weirdly enough, no one had seemed to notice the little ball of fur, who apparently was asleep even with all the noise earlier. Matthew decided to go wait for the other boy somewhere near the office so he could give him the tiny cat back. This was all really confusing and Matthew was in this kind of a surreal state of mind. The more close he got, the louder the voice of the headmaster grew. He couldn’t hear complete sentences but only few words every now and then and decided to sit down on the stairs nearby.  
“How many times – I don’t know – Are you stupid – What – Why would you – “, and so on. This went on for what felt like an hour but finally the voice started to quiet down and there was only mumbling to be heard through the door. 

After a few more minutes, the door opened and the albino walked out looking like he had just had a regular conversation of how great it is that the winter is coming closer! with someone instead of being yelled at for like twenty minutes straight. He hadn’t spotted Matthew and started making quiet calls assumingly to find the kitten.  
“Kitty, kitty, kitty, come here kitty, kitty, kitty”.  
The cat in Matthews lap started to wake up and opened its tiny eyes then letting out a quiet voice. The albino turned around quickly and saw Matthew who felt his heart jump up to his throat when the other looked at him with his cold red-ish eyes. The kitten jumped down and ran to the boy who then picked it up and carefully checked it for any injuries.  
“I, uh, didn’t want to leave him here”, Matthew muttered and the other looked back up to him now grinning.  
“Her”, he said, “and yeah thanks a ton I was all worried over her”. The boy then carefully put the purring cat to the pocket of his jacket and Matthew couldn’t help but wonder if it was okay to keep her there, but well the kitty kept purring so she was probably alright.  
“Hey”, the boy said and started walking gesturing the other to follow him, “you happen to remember if I had a backpack with me?”  
“Uh, no, sorry”, Matthew said and hurried after him. It was weird, but he was too curious to just leave. About the kitten and well the boy seemed really interesting too.  
“So what’s your name? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before, no offense”.  
“Matthew”  
“Okay, hello Matthew Nolastname, my name is Gilbert Beilschmit, here to make your life more awesome and at your service”, the apparently Gilbert named boy said and turned around to wink his eye before continuing to search his possessions. Matthew a bit blown away continued for some reason to follow the other.  
“At your service? Is that how you introduce yourself to people?” he wondered out loud. Gilbert made an exited Aha!-sound and threw his other hand in the air supporting his kitten-filled-pocket with the other so it wouldn’t swing so roughly. He had found his backpack near the place he had gotten into the fight and picked it out checking if everything was inside.  
“Okay, everything seems to be here..”, he muttered and then threw it over his shoulder, “And well not to everyone, only to the cutest”. Then, again, he made this almost spin to turn see Matthew and grinned to him. They had stopped walking and were now standing on the hallway. Matthew had a huge blush on his face and Gilbert just kept grinning looking like he had just won a make-the-Canadian-blush-competition.  
“You have anywhere you should be now?” Gilbert asked then watched over his shoulder to see if there were any clocks on the walls. There was. It told them it was 3.42pm, about. Matthew wasn’t that sure of the minutes.  
“No, I don’t think so”, Matthew said slowly trying to remember if he had actually written the essay he was working on last night. Well, it wasn’t due until next week anyway.  
“Great! Follow me then, will you now”, Gilbert almost shouted in a, god where did this energy come from, excited voice and started walking towards the school exit. Matthew, as it was almost becoming a cliché, followed him and soon they were walking side by side Gilbert still clearly having a destination. Outside there was just an almost empty schoolyard, few people here and there still lingering around.

“So where are we going?” Matthew asked after a while of idle chitchat, mostly Gilbert just complaining about what had happened in the office. He was speaking as if the two had been friends for a long time and in a way it felt really natural for Matthew. It was also very nice to feel included instead of being that one extra person. They were now going around the corner of the school ending up in a park where Matthew knew little children from the kindergarten nearby liked to play in sometimes.  
“We are going to meet up with my friends, I hope, and well then we’ll maybe just hang around, who knows”, Gilbert answered. He now took the turn to left and Matthew hoped this place wasn’t far away.  
“O-kay, why am I here thought”, he asked more himself than the other.  
“Well I think my friends deserve to see you since you saved my cat and all”, Gilbert still answered.  
“Oh, well, uh, it was not that big of a deal, haha”, Matthew scratched the back of his head running his hand through the blond semi-long hair, “It’s not like I had anything else to do anyways”.  
“Then wouldn’t you say it was an absolutely awesome incident that I invited you to, as you put it, do something else?” Gilbert asked. Well, Matthew tough, the kid had a point. He just shrugged his shoulders at that and they took another turn to left. They were at the yard of an apartment house now and Gilbert bend over to pick up some small-ish rocks from the ground. He then threw them hitting the second window from the right of the third floors window. Matthew squinted his eyes bit at the sound.  
“What are you doing? You could break the window!”  
“Chill, would you. It’s Toni’s window, nothing’s going to happen”, Gilbert answered turning to see Matthew looking amused of the others worry. As if it was perfectly normal to just go throwing rocks at other people’s houses – or, apartment windows. Maybe for Gilbert it was.  
“HEY! GIL! I TOLD YOU TO QUIT IT YOU IDIOT!” they heard someone shout and turned around to see a pissed off looking guy in the window shouting his lungs out and gripping to the window board. Gilbert was sporting a sheepish smile and just waved at the other boy.  
“Hey, is Toni there?”  
“Why the fuck else would I be here you stupid fuck, I’m not like you people braking in to other people’s houses-“, he was cut short when another person appeared behind him.  
“Hey Gilbert! Long time no see!”. Matthew couldn’t help but think this person looked the kind of person who was stupid. Maybe not stupid, just air-headed. Not that he’d ever say it out loud. Or actually think about it no no, Matthew wasn’t the kind of person who judged people on how or how un-stupid they looked with happy-go-lucky-smiles and hands swinging wildly. The slightly shorter and very angry boy turned around to face the not-stupid-boy.  
“You last saw him two hours ago!”  
Gilbert let out a loud sight and sat down. Right there on the ground. Just what kind of people had Matthew encountered with. Maybe he shouldn’t have come. Then again, this was more fun to watch than any show on TV. He decided to just roll with it. He too sat down and Gilbert was searching through his pocket, the cat-free one. Gilbert then finally found his phone from the bottom of his backpack and was now apparently calling someone.  
“Hey Franny! Where you at? Oh? Oh yeah, yeah I totally forgot! Yeah see you later, yeah. Yeah. Yeah okay, bye!”  
He then stuffed his phone away to his pocket and stood up. He then tapped his jaw with his other hand, the other one on his hips and let out the kind of “Hmmmm”-sound detectives make in movies when they find something interesting.  
“Okay, so since both of my best buds are BUSY” he shouted the last one in the direction of the window, “we have to come up with something else”  
“Uhh, okay?” Matthew answered and was now standing up too.  
“Okay, okay, follow me”, Gilbert said then and started walking away back the way they came from.  
“Where are we going now?”  
“Well, since I know for a fact Liz is with Specs McPianofucker, you are my number one friend right now”, Gilbert proclaimed and threw an arm around Matthews shoulder. What an unique person, Matthew said to himself. Gilbert let go of him almost immediately and was now leading the way again. 

It was around six in the afternoon and Matthew was sitting at Gilberts couch playing video games when his phone started to ring. He had the opening song from Friends as his ringtone and was now regretting all of his life decisions when he hurried to grab his school back and dig the phone out of there. Gilbert didn’t seem to even notice thought and had his eyes fixed on the screen and his tongue sticking out in concentration. Matthew checked the caller ID – it was his mom.  
“Hi, mom”, Matthew answered the phone, “I’m at a friends place – Yeah, okay – Uh, I don’t know, soon? – Okay, bye”  
He ended the call and stuffed the phone to his pocket. He turned back to the game and they continued where they left. There was a concentrated silence for a while as they entered a new challenge but after things chilled in the game Gilbert opened his mouth.  
“Friends, huh?”  
Matthew felt himself blush a little and tried very, very hard to focus on the screen in front of him.  
“It’s a good show”, he muttered and covered his hands with his sleeves, an old habit when embarrassed. Gilbert turned to his direction and grinned.  
“Yeah yeah, whatever, really annoying the whole Rachel-Ross-thing thought”, he said. Matthew gasped, how dared Gilbert insult his favorite TV-couple of all time?  
“What? No you’re so wrong”, he answered and turned to watch him eyes burning. Gilbert looked startled first and laughed nervously when he saw the way Matthew was glaring him.  
“Fine, fine. They are super cute together and all that”, he corrected himself quickly, “Jeez, Matt, chill”. Matthew only smiled proudly at himself and blew up a few enemies in the game, damn that was close he would have died if he had glared Gilbert a few more seconds longer.  
They came up to a “Do you want to save your process so far?”-part and Matthew said he should probably go home now.  
“Oh okay”, Gilbert answered and turned the console off after saving the game like three times.  
“See you tomorrow then!” he shouted after him at the door and Matthew found himself smiling when he started walking home. What a weird day had it been, he thought.

“Mattie, yo!”  
“Alfred.”  
“Where were you today? I wanted to play the new game I bought yesterday with you today! You totally blew me off, bro”  
“I was with a friend”  
“Who, Lars? That dude is so weird I’m sure he’s smoking pot or something.. There’s this funny vibe I get from him..”  
“Oh would you quit it and no, I wasn’t with Lars today”  
“Who then? He’s like the only friend you have, no offense”  
“I was with Gilbert”  
“Beilschmit? The total loser who likes to think he’s the shit? Are you serious?”  
“He’s not a total loser, only a little”  
“Since when have you even been friends with him? You know he’s a total stoner too, right? What is it with you and all these potheads anyway?”  
“Ughh, go away, please! I’m trying to get my homework done, Al. Unlike SOMEONE I actually care about my future”  
“I don’t’ need to do my homework. I’m too smart for that school, you know”  
“You failed three of your classes last semester”  
“Oh, shut up”


	2. Exchanging numbers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day, it's Friday and Matthews not sure what to expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise the story will be less school focused in chapter 3 lmao

Friday morning. Matthew walks along with the herd of teenagers protecting their coffee-mugs and rubbing their eyes to wake up. Friday morning was not the right place for French but hey, what can you do. With the time painfully slowly coming around 9.45 it’s time to switch classes. Okay, Matthew, few more hours and then it’s weekend, he tells himself and drags his tired self to the direction of math.

When lunch break rolls around the corner Matthew finds himself sitting in the table near the middle but not quite, so that, as he has tactically planned, he will not arouse attention. He’s taking a bite of his peanut butter sandwich when a loud voice shouts his name from behind.

“Mattie! Yo!”

This jumping around from loud noises was clearly becoming a habit, he noted. A backpack was thrown on the table and three figures appeared two opposite of him and one next to him. Francis and Antonio, sitting on the other side of the table, were arguing about something but Matthew wasn’t quite sure what of. Something about.. curls?

“Hey, hey, guys, would you shut up now”, Gilbert waved his hand in front of the other two. Matthew was a bit too overhelmed to do much but confusedly stare at the three.

“Gil, we need you to settle this! Which one has cuter curls, Lovi or Francis?” Antonio asked. He put weight on the first name while rolling his eyes on his friends which made Matthew want to laugh. But he didn’t. It didn’t feel like the kind of situation where you can just laugh at something someone you don’t really know said.

“Uhh… Mattie? Help me out?” Gilbert answered and gave a sheepish smile. All six eyes were now on him as the two were very much waiting for him to answer. The albino had made a quick save as either he would have lost Francis’ wine supplies for a month or Antonios home-made snacks for, well, a day. Or at least that’s what happened the last time he had been trapped into a similar situation. And the one before that and the one before that and well so on.

“I- uh, I- “, Matthew was now matching his red hoodie. He covered his hands with the sleeves and was struggling to get the uhh’s and I’s out of his mouth.

“Guys, please, no one cares expect you two”, Gilbert interrupted finally when he decided they weren’t going to get an answer out of Matthew and was now waving his hands dramatically.

“For real listen to me now you buttheads. Okay. So as I was trying”, a glare, “to tell you earlier!” Gilbert started. The other two listened while digging up their lunches.

“Since you two were skipping class I was going around the campus minding my own business and then SUDDENLY I heard a tiny kitten-“

“How do you hear a kitten?” Francis asked rising his eyebrows.

“Well duh, they say meowwww and scratch the hell out of things”, Antonio said and poked Francis with his fork.

“Yeah but then you hear the cat meow, you don’t hear the actual kitten being a kitten”

“HEY”. Gilbert slammed his hand on the table not that hard, only to make his point through. “So, as I was saying there was this kitten just wandering around. And well I couldn’t find her parents so I took her with me!”

“Oh my God, really? What happened to her?!” Antonio asked. He looked so genuinely worried it made Matthew think he maybe had a soft point for baby animals. Well to be fair, who hasn’t, but even more so.

“I put her in my pocket and that’s right when, guess what, I ran into Lizzie!! Like, literally run into her with a bump and all. And lemme tell you, you don’t wanna mess with her. She’s like some kinda Hercules with all that gym”, snickering to himself he pulled the tiny white ball of fur out of his pocket and quickly gave it to Antonio under the table and who made a kind of delighted giggle-ish-thingy.

This was all so very, very, very bizarre to Matthew. He had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. And well, he sure wasn’t. But as this unexpected group wasn’t at any cost a bad thing it didn’t make Matthew feel any better than usual, as someone might think. He felt like he was invisible which itself wasn’t new, but ignored also. Not that he really wanted the attention of these infamous strangers, but the fact that Gilbert had acknowledged his presence and was now completely focusing on the other two really did make Matthew feel out of place. He was planning on just getting up and leaving, but then Gilbert suddenly mentioned his name and that made Matthew snap out of his thoughts.

“So so, as usual, it kinda got out of control and we got into a fight. And THEN Mattie here was happening to stand next to the awesomess that is me and I gave her to him! And well after an intense fight I got pulled into the office and well when I got out Mattie was there with the kitty and then! Well, you know about the rest we just went to Tonis so I could tell you about it and so on!”

“Ohhhhh, I was wandering why you were there with Gil yesterday!” Antonio spoke to Matthew and smiled at him with a warm way that made Matthew feel immediately better. “But then I got distracted”, he continued and laughed when Francis elbowed him softly with an “Ohhhh, really now, I wonder why”.

“Was it really an ‘intense fight’?” Francis asked with a skeptical tone rising his eyebrows at Matthew who wasn’t surprisingly feeling as awkward as he would have expected. It felt natural talking to them now that he was included.

“Uhh, I wouldn’t say intense.. More like a total knock-out”, he answered a bit quietly with a tiny smile.

“Gasp! A traitor!” Gilbert screamed and bumped him on the shoulder lightly and Matthew gave out a little laugh. Antonio on the other hand was laughing with his head on the table, probably having his hands around the small cat, who was weirdly quiet actually. Matthew wondered if she was okay, or maybe she was asleep again. How did Gilbert even smuggle a kitten in to the school? Francis laughed too and gave Matthew a wink which made him blush.

 

 

After the lunch break there were three classes yet to attend. He said bye to the three who had classes on the other side of the school and Matthew went on his way to English. He shared the class with Lars who happened to be sitting in the class already. Matthew took his place beside Lars and greeted him.

“Hi”, Lars answered casually staring out of the window clearly on some other planet right now. It wasn’t all that unusual and even though someone might find that kind of behavior rude, Matthew knew that was just how he was. Matthew started digging his stuff out his bag and doodling on the back of his notebook to kill time before the teacher arrived. The classroom was slowly filling up with people.

“What’s up with you?” Lars asked suddenly and Matthew raised his gaze to notice the other was looking at him curiously. He felt himself blush a little.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re just smiling and stuff”

“What, I can’t look happy?”

“It’s just that you just don’t usually”

“Oh”

The teacher then begun the class. Matthew scribbled a note, “Something weird happened at lunch”. He then slipped it to Lars who raised his eyebrows at him after reading the note. Matthew just shrugged his shoulders and smiled.

After class Matthew told Lars everything. Lars only nodded and seemed lost in his thoughts again. Matthew just kind of waited for him to react. After a while he did.

“Yes, well they seem okay. Maybe they deserve your time”, he said in a serious tone. Matthew stared at him eyebrows raised in a suspicious way.

“I, uh”, he started, “they.. deserve my time?”

“Yeah”, Lars nodded. If Lars was the kind of person to smile, he probably would have then.

“Um, thanks..? I guess?” Matthew was now starting to doubt his decision to tell Lars everything.

“Well, see ya”, Lars started walking to his next lesson then. Or Matthew at least hoped he was going to class. He knew Lars sometimes tended to skip classes and go smoke something suspicious, sometimes only cigarettes, behind the school building. Still he seemed to be doing okay in school so Matthew wasn’t too worried.

 

Matthew could now let out a sigh of relieve. His last two classes had gone by fast enough. He had two and a half day of freedom until he had to return to this prison again. He headed out to the yard and started his way up to the bus stop. He was supposed to go downtown to meet with her mother so they could have dinner together, as they had a habit of doing at least once a month. Something about bonding, she had told Matthew.

“Hey wait up a sec!” Matthew heard the now familiar voice shout from behind him. He turned and saw Gilbert run to him with Francis and Antonio walking behind him chatting together. Gilbert slowed down and stopped before him and offered him his phone.

“Can I get your number?” he asked grinning. Matthew was really taken aback and stuttered out a “sure” before he started tapping his number on albinos’ phone. He was blushing again.

“Thanks!” Gilbert said taking the phone and texted a “:D:D” so that Matthew got his number too.

“Okay, well I gotta go now, but see you later, right?” Gilbert said after Matthew finished saving his number.

“Yeah, see you”, Matthew answered with a smile.

 

Later at home he was lying on his bed listening to music and drifting to sleep thinking of the days happenings.


End file.
